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Meditation

Slowly starting to feel overwhelmed again. I don't know what I want to do, or why I feel like this. I'm chalking it up to an episode, maybe a nervous breakdown, and hoping it'll pass.

I want to take a vacation, maybe never come back, take Robbie away with me and run away to hide in India or something. Pipe dreams.

Apparently I've been crying in my sleep again, I can barely remember the dreams though. One of them I was pregnant.

I was thinking back to C-bus, about Tammi and the kids. I miss them. I miss everyone there.

I was off last night and spent a lot of time relaxing and watching movies. I haven't done a lot of writing, haven't felt particularly motivated. I'm wondering if I should take a break from it, although technically I've been on a break from it for the past month and a half. I don't look at my desktop as often as I should, I forget that I've plastered it with mantras, things I tell myself over and over when I meditate or feel sad.

My insecurities keep rearing their ugly heads and I feel weighed down all the more.

Hopefully I'll be able to set myself straight today, one more day off. I don't think I'll really try to write, I'll probably just try to concentrate on staying calm.